So, last night I had another nightmare within a nightmare. No wonder I feel exhausted when I wake up! On the plus side last nights dreams weren’t quite as cryptic and I guess I feel that if I am working through any issues while I’m unconscious then theoretically it should save me time while I’m conscious, right?
I’ve got alot going on at the moment, both inside and outside my head. You would think the stuff outside- including two beautiful boys with special needs, one enchanting almost two year old girl, a grandparent with alzheimers who I’m helping my sister find a residential care placement for, a newish romantic entanglement of the long distance variety, an ex-husband I still care for…….where was I? I had to leave to change a delightful poo filled nappy. Oh, yes, I was thinking that the everyday glamour of my life would dull down the roar from inside my head. But it doesn’t.
I am an introspective person by nature. That has really only been magnified by depression and PTSD. I watch reality TV and read trashy magazines because they produce a soothing white noise effect in my head. A friend I was speaking with last night says the internet does the same for him, and I’d have to agree. That is partly what this blog is about, as the title suggests it is space for me to dump what is in my head.
I feel like I have entered a new phase in terms of personal growth and that is probably what the intensity of my dreams is about. This can only be a good thing, even if it is leaving me feeling a bit strung out. Anyhow, the ‘real world’ calls…….later!