Does anyone else remember Space Food Sticks? They were these weird snack type thing. The consistency of half dried Play-Doh and with a flavour vaguely reminiscent of chocolate? For some reason I thought of them about a month ago and thought I’d buy some for the nostalgia value. But I couldn’t find any at the supermarket, so I googled them. Apparently production stopped on Space Food Sticks in 2014. Maybe there was a public outcry or a farewell ceremony but if there was I missed it. And now they don’t exist anymore.

Next month will be twenty years since a very dear friend of mine died. I know that because I was pregnant with Son Number Two at the time, and here he is, almost twenty years old. I dreamt about my friend the other night. In my dream I was so happy to see him. After all these years Malcolm, you are still so missed.

Last night I spent a couple of hours putting together a piece for my wall that I have been assembling in my head for weeks and, I guess in one way and another, I have been working on for years. It’s a huge Kmart poster size frame with a marriage equality poster from the campaign in the centre. Around that I have put photos ranging from a rainbow flag Daughter Number One had drawn, to a photo of her on her 14th Birthday – her last birthday- with her beloved best friend, to the wedding we attended before it was legal with Daughter Number Two dancing with Son Number Two, to rally’s for Marriage Equality and the memorial service for the Pulse victims. There were photos from the Pride Parade and the newspaper report from the wedding we attended that was one of the first legal same sex marriages in Australia, where Daughter Number Two wore the same gown she had worn to the non-legal wedding a couple of years before. All those times, separate but linked.

A rainbow collage of years and memories and meanings and people but mostly love. I am looking forward to hanging it on the wall, where I can see it and remember and be glad.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, we went to a camp. There was a ‘silent auction’ there. Items were placed on tables with pieces of paper where you could write your bid for the item and the highest bid would win. As we walked around looking at the items I could see Daughter Number One’s name written in her childish hand on item after item. I was appalled! Asked her what she was doing? Didn’t she know we couldn’t afford to pay for these things if she won? Daughter Number One protested strongly. She hadn’t written her name on anything! She didn’t know why it was there!

It turned out there was another girl at the camp with the same name, and, incredibly, a birthday one year and a day different from Daughter Number One’s. After that camp they became pen pals and exchanged letters for years.

When Daughter Number One was murdered there were many people I had to tell but, as silly as it sounds, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her friend with the same name. It felt too wrong. Like I was telling her about her own death almost. I know that’s not logical but that’s how it felt. It’s something I still feel guilty about to this day because it didn’t give my Daughter’s friend the opportunity to attend her funeral. I took that from her and I will always be sorry for that.

But this girl, with the same name as my Daughter, this beautiful, generous girl heard about Daughter Number One’s murder through the extensive media coverage and sent me a card. Over the years she has kept in touch with me. We chat on Messenger sometimes. She’s a pilot now, based overseas. A female pilot, which is pretty fucking special. The other week she sent me a video and the message attached said she hoped I’d enjoy it. It was footage taken by her co-pilot, in the cockpit, of her landing a plane. IT WAS AMAZING! And that she thought to send me the video means more to me than words can say. I saved it onto my phone.

All of the years and the memories and the meanings and the people and most of all the love. And I remember. And I am glad.



After another flight and a train trip up the coast Son Number Two, Daughter Number Two and I arrived at our station to be picked up to begin The Wedding festivities. That train station has changed since I knew it first. The overhead walkway and the stairs are at the opposite end of the platform than they used to be. This is the station from which I used to commute to my all girls, Catholic, junior high school and to Sydney to attend ATYP as a teenager. The station sits in the suburb where I attended the local public, co-ed high school, which is where I met my two very dear friends, one of whom was getting married this weekend. This was the station I alighted at on the day Daughter Number One was born, scared and unsure if the pain I was feeling were contractions. Across the road from the station sits the small unit where I lived during my first pregnancy.

We arrived and the night was dark and cool. It had been a long day. It was late. We were met by my high school friend’s child bride (she is ten years younger than the rest of us!) who collected some take away before taking us to the venue. The Child Bride looked fantastic and it was so very good to see her again! There we met up with my other dear high school friend and her daughter. I think I’ve mentioned before that we three high school friends each have daughters born in the same year; very cool indeed! When Daughter Number Two lived with me we would regularly meet up with our daughters even though we lived a distance apart but Daughter Number Two had not seen her little friends for three years. It was a subdued reunion as my friend’s – let’s call my friend Comet for the purposes of this blog – daughter was unwell and Daughter Number Two had had a very long day but for me it was lovely to see them together again. Comet, her Shooting Star, my Son Number Two and Daughter Number Two and I sat down and had dinner together after exhorting the Child Bride to go home to her family to get some sleep before the big day.

Comet and I finished dinner and I helped her in continuing to decorate the reception space. When we’d gone as long as we could and thought that what was left was manageable the next day we headed to bed ourselves. When we awoke in the morning I opened the door of our cabin and looked across the grass to the building opposite. On the verandah of the hall like building opposite was a TARDIS!! Seriously!! Very cool indeed. So, I got Son Number Two and Daughter Number Two dressed and hauled them over there to take photo’s, as you do. The preparations and decorating for The Wedding continued into the morning and then it was time to get ready for the ceremony. I dressed Daughter Number Two in the dress that I’d ordered from the internet for her and it was as perfect with her colouring as I’d known it would be. Son Number Two put on his good jeans and a smart shirt and I dressed myself in a pastel rainbow jumper, a flowery skirt and these really cool, really cheap black boots that a friend of mine had helped me pick out several days before. Comet had decorated the ceremony site and the pathway leading to it with candles in jars and rainbow windmills. It was a beautiful bush setting with flowers and the sound of bird life in the trees. Then this lovely song started and from two different paths that converged into one the Child Bride and my dear other high school friend (we’ll call her Lovemetender), who I was seeing for the first time since we arrived, came walking towards the assembled gathering. Lovemetender was holding their eldest daughter’s, Priscilla’s hand and the Child Bride held the hand of their youngest daughter, Lisa-Marie. I had only ever met Lisa-Marie once before, on the day she had arrived home from hospital after her birth three years earlier. The two brides and their two beautiful daughters walked down their paths and then met in the middle. They walked to the front of their assembled guests and stood together in front of the celebrant.

The celebrant opened the ceremony and welcomed everyone. I knew that I was up next and as I felt my throat constrict with unfallen tears of the happy persuasion I remembered that it had been a very, very long time – literally decades – since I had done any kind of public speaking. I wondered if I would be able to speak at all. It was such an honour to be asked though and meant so much to me, so I took a few deep breaths and when my name was called I stepped forward. My voice shook and it took effort to raise it to an audible level. I concentrated on Lovemetender and her bride and spoke the words I had written specially for them, to them. And they smiled and it was ok. I watched as my friends said their vows to each other and toddler wrangled simultaneously. I watched as the sand ceremony involved their nuclear and extended families. I watched as they signed their certificate and had photo’s at the end. There was so much love there and I was lucky to be a part of it. Seriously, there was laughter, tears, family and friends. There were two people madly in love committing to spending their lives and raising their family together. You don’t get much realer than that.

In all honesty I can say it was the best wedding I have ever been to and I’ve been to three of my own! On the day that would have marked the 25th anniversary of my own child bride wedding my lovely friends posted a video of photo’s of their special day set to music. I’ve watched it many times since then and the exquisite beauty never gets old. I see again in those photo’s how the Child Bride looks at Lovemetender, how they look at each other with such love, and I know in my life I have never had anyone look at me that way and chances are I never will. And watching their video I finally realised why there are so many people against gay marriage; they are afraid gays do it better!

Love to you all x




Hey guys, this is the speech I gave at the wedding. As I waited to speak on the day it suddenly occurred to me what an extremely long time it had been since I had done any public speaking at all, like, over a decade at least. Which was when I began to get very, very nervous. Anyway, it seemed to go alright, so, enjoy!:

William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”

Looking around this gathering of the Happy Couple’s family and friends it is easy to see many kinds of love. The love of parents for their children and children for their parents, of siblings for each other, the love of extended family, the love of friendship – we are surrounded by it!

What I think William was saying in his sonnet is that love seeps into our very souls and stains us and that love becomes part of who we are. Love gives us shelter in life’s storms and love is the light that guides us home. At the end of the day, when all else is lost, love is what remains.

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments”. Every relationship has it’s challenges but love is what prevails; over time, over distance, during disappointments and trials. Love endures, love connects, love strengthens. For ten years the love between the Happy Couple has endured. They have a lovely home, a strong partnership and two gorgeous daughters that stand as testament to their love. It doesn’t get realer than that. Their love has brought together this gathering and our love for them will support the Happy Couple and their family as they go forward into the future.

I’ll close with the words of another poet who is close to my heart:

“You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you shine on me wherever you are
I just think of you and I start to glow
And I need your light
And baby you know

You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you make the darkness seem so far
And when I’m lost you’ll be my guide
I just turn around and you’re by my side”

Happy Couple, you have found your lucky stars in each other, which makes you very lucky indeed. Thank you for the honour of sharing this day with you.



Yesterday I was asked to do a reading at a dear friend’s wedding in August. There are not many bigger compliments one can be paid. I am truly touched and excited beyond belief.

During the longest night ever, when I was so very, very scared and so very, very alone there was one friend I called. Just to feel less alone. I have two dear friends that I went to high school with. They were bridesmaids at my child bride first wedding. They were there when I gave birth to Daughter Number One. They knew her for her whole life and they came to her funeral. During the longest night ever one of my dear friends had a young child that wasn’t sleeping well. The other lived alone and so I rang her. And she answered. And she kept answering my calls, all through that long, long night. Even as I went from confused to terrified to distraught. By the next morning, when I knew the worst, she still answered my calls. Then she came to my Daughter’s funeral and in all the years since she has stayed my friend. Even when being my friend cannot have been easy and judging me most definitely would have been. That’s true of all my friends, the ones who love me and I know how lucky I am.

After my Daughter Number One died I watched as my dear friend met someone new who made her smile. I was privileged to watch her fall in love. I’ve watched as she’s renovated a home and raised two daughters and built a life with her one true love. This is one of the strongest, most enduring relationships I’ve seen in my life. I’m sure they have their hard times, everyone does, relationships are hard work but love has prevailed and in August, when they will celebrate ten years together my dear friend and her true love will be married.

Kind of. Sort of. Except it can’t technically be called a wedding because my dear friend’s one true love is also a woman. And my country doesn’t recognise their ‘kind’ of love and commitment – that would be the REAL kind if you ask me! My country says that the only ‘true’ marriages are between a man and a woman. On this issue I am embarrassed by the laws of this land. We are behind much of the civilised world and it feels backwards in the extreme.
Love is love.

I told you recently about a friend confiding in me about proposing to her partner. I wrote of the happiness I felt. That also is an EPIC love story and luckily for you their love story right up to the grand proposal has been shared with the world on my friends blog. So, do yourselves a favour and go check it out for a feel good read and try not to cry at the video (I failed)! If you do, you’ll note that my friend is also a girl in love with a girl.

Love is love! In this world where so many bad things happen to so many good people, in this life that is so short and when love is all that remains when everything else has gone why can’t love just be love? I get to plan my wedding and call it that. I get to have my marriage recognised by law. How can anyone judge that my love is more real, or true, or deserving than either of my friends? They are building lives together, they are raising children together, they have made homes together. How could my love be more valid just because my partner is a certain sex? There’s a simple answer. It’s not.

Love is love.

Ain’t love grand?

I have had a nice warm fuzzy feeling today. This is possibly due to the codeine I have ingested but I like to think it is because I am feeling happy and loved.


It is also because Rove and Tasma got married. Not that I know them mind you, but I know of them and wish them every happiness. Like I’ve said before I’m pro any displays of love and commitment people want to make to each other. I love a good wedding. I think it is the whole optimism of the thing. It is all so hopeful. It’s not only the ceremony though, in fact it’s not even the ceremony really, it is two people pledging themselves to each other. I love good marriages and good relationships too. They don’t have to validated by a piece of paper, although everyone should have that option if they desire it. There is just something really special about people taking that leap of faith together. Declaring their love and their belief in it, and each other.


It has always been a commitment I have taken seriously but as I’ve said here before I think now is more about me exploring what commitment the other person is making. After three husbands and two divorces I’m not going to be rushing down the aisle. I would be sad though if I never again had a relationship worthy of ‘forsaking all others’ , whether formalised by a ceremony or not. When I am in a relationship I give my all. The trick is to find someone who is worthy of it, while not losing myself. Someone who is willing to give me his all would be a good thing too, someone whose all is worth having!  So, I live in hope! It is hard to keep my Sagittarian optimism down!!


Things are going along nicely with the current person of interest.  As I said at the start of this post I feel happy and loved and today that has alot to do with him. I feel really lucky that I can explore this relationship, while also finding my own direction, and that so far one has only enhanced the other. It’s a good place that I am in, and I wish that for you too.