I have been very neglectful of this blog of late. I really haven’t had the energy. I still don’t but like the rest of my life I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth in order not to lose it all. When we went for the big hospital check up months ago Son Number One was diagnosed with a chromosomal abnormality which has underpinned all the other problems he has had over the years.
As he gets older and his chronological age and ‘actual’ age seem to drift further apart, as he continues to get bigger and bigger and bigger, his behaviour gets harder and harder to manage and contain. At a paediatrician’s appointment last week I was told Son Number One had put on ten kilo’s and grown 6cm in six months. He is now 192cms tall and weighs 82 kg. I think that is just under 6 foot 3. He towers above me. He towers above most people. He is 15 years old and shows no sign of slowing down in growth anytime soon.
We’ve had some pretty bad behavioural incidents over the last couple of months, from a few weeks before Christmas to just last week and my resources are stretched to say the least. Son Number One was in emergency respite for three days last week, just so I could draw a breath and we are looking at longer term options and services with his paediatrician, but it’s been hard, both inside and outside my head.
The whole Holland v’s Italy thing comes to mind ( google ‘holland italy special needs’ ) but it’s not even that. I’m all for embracing the individuality of each of my children, I couldn’t care less if we end up in Holland, but gee, I really want him to have the right luggage to take with him. It has become increasingly apparent that as hard as I try I can’t force him to carry the bags I have lovingly packed for him. He just can’t pick them up.
Naturally super stress in one area of my precariously ‘balanced’ life has had flow on effects in other areas. Son Number Two is becoming increasingly frustrated by Son Number One’s behaviours and my inability to manage them. He has been acting out in an extremely unpleasant way. I took Son Number Two to the beach yesterday, while Daughter Number Two was with Baby Daddy and Son Number One was at Vacation Care. It was nice to just relax and play and it was very beautiful as a bonus! Everything was perfect, the view, the weather, and we had a lovely time together. Son Number Two’s best friend is coming for a sleep over tomorrow, and they will get to spend some time together while Son Number One is at Vacation Care. Then I will hold my breath for the rest of the visit in the hope nothing too crazy happens.
Surprisingly, for me anyway, we had a really good Christmas. It was very low-key and relaxed, which was exactly what I was going for. Baby Daddy was on his best behaviour and proclaimed it the best Christmas he had ever had, high praise indeed! The only thing that could have improved it for me would have been having the Current Person of Interest present.
Which brings us to New Years Eve ! We flew to the city to see the fireworks. I had booked an apartment with views out over the Harbour and the city so that we had a perfect view of all the fireworks but were far from the crowds and craziness. It worked really well, Son Number One can get quite agitated by the noise, which this time was dulled by distance. We watched the show from the comfort of our apartment and a great time was had by all. There are two fireworks displays on New Years Eve, one at 9pm and one at midnight. Daughter Number Two was allowed to stay up for the 9pm session, and went to sleep finally at 11.30. The boys were allowed to stay up until the midnight display. It was really fantastic and I’m sure it will not be the last time we do it. As a bonus the Current Person of Interest stayed with us, which was wonderful!
Everything with us is going smoothly, although he still lives far away and the long distance thing sucks. That is not likely to change though and for the moment the positives are still outweighing the negatives.
Juggle, juggle, juggle. The mother’s lament. School starts back next week, which will give me some breathing space and let me resume weekly visits with Nana. Hopefully the paediatrician will be in touch soon with some new directions for Son Number One and there is just over a month until the Current Person of Interest is here again. So, I’m just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. This too will pass.