What do I have in common with Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay and newly separated from Gwyneth Paltow, and a WW2 POW? Well may you ask my friends, well may you ask. I expect it is something many of us have in common, from varying degrees and for various reasons.
I watched the Railway Man with Colin Firth yesterday. It was a very good film. A high quality film. Even the presence of Nicole Kidman was tolerable – she wasn’t NICOLE KIDMAN!! so wasn’t too obtrusive. There was many things that resonated with me but most particularly a line in the film that went:
“We don’t live. We’re miming in the choir. We can’t love. We can’t sleep. We’re an army of ghosts.”
And that thought echoes around my head still – “We’re miming in the choir”. I don’t want to lip sync through my life, with someone else’s lyrics on my lips. I want to dance to the beat of my own drum. It is all too familiar though. The ‘We can’t sleep’ bit is obvious. The ‘Army of ghosts’ rings a bell. The love thing I work really hard at but all the time it is a fight against the soothing embrace of detachment. It would be so easy, so very easy, to not let anything or anyone touch my soul again but for me there would leave little point to my existence if I gave in to that.
Then I read this article about Chris Martin this morning and read this quote:
“About two years ago I was a mess, really, because I can’t enjoy the things that we are good at and I can’t enjoy the great things around me because I’m burdened by this,” Martin told BBC radio.
“I wouldn’t use the word breakdown — this was more a realisation about trying to grow up, basically. If you can’t open yourself up, you can’t appreciate the wonder inside. So you can be with someone very wonderful, but because of your own issues you cannot let that be celebrated in the right way.”
And you know, he says it in a roundabout way but you get the gist. Leave yourself open. Be mindful. Stay engaged. Live rather than exist.
Don’t mime in the choir; sing your damn heart out!
Safe onward travel x