Posts tagged ‘Robert Frost’

HEY, I GOT A LOT OF FAITH IN YOU!

Someone said to me recently “Life happens and fucks us up”. This is undeniably true, on some level, for us all. Some of us have bigger challenges to face, for sure, but never the less none of us gets out of life unscathed. We all get buffeted by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Even so, we still have choices.

I was talking to My Young Friend’s Lovely Fiancée the other day about my plans and focusing my energy in a forward direction. I had prefaced my statements with ‘As much as I love hanging out with you guys….’. The Lovely Fiancée responded with ‘I get it. You can’t live off other people’s happiness. You want some happiness of your own!’ And that is it, in a nutshell. I want some happiness of my own. It is no more than I deserve. So, I am going to go and find it.

For a long time I have been aware of the need to be consciously open to life’s possibilities and what I’ve learnt lately has done nothing to dissuade me from that view. I read an enormously interesting article the other day that suggested it is possible to fall in love with anyone. It sounds ridiculous but once you read the article and the theory that prompted it, it makes sense. Basically because it is about that very thing; a willingness to be open to the possibility followed by a willingness to put in the effort. That’s a sure recipe for success whatever your goal! I think that you’d not want to try this with anyone you weren’t remotely attracted to on some level anyway. I also think that the thirty six questions give you a fair chance of seeing if it has potential. Chances are, if you can’t commit to thirty six questions and feel comfortable with your partner’s answers then they probably are not the one for you. Similarly, if you cannot look at them for four minutes straight looking at them for the rest of your life is going to be too big an ask.

Think of the potential! Not just for new mates but for reconnecting with current significant others. Because I think those questions, even if you think you’ve heard all their stories before, would be just as potent, perhaps more so, for the retelling. The opportunity to discover new things about each other and look at each other through fresh eyes!

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Here’s the thing; life is full of potential. Only if we do something about it can we realise that potential. I’m all about the realisation! For me, like the 1980’s t-shirt, I choose life. I choose love. I choose laughter. There has been lots of ugly stuff happening on my own doorstep and worldwide lately. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge it, I just choose to find a way forward.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening – Robert Frost.

I was putting on my jewellery today after my shower and realised I had absent-mindedly put one ring on the wrong finger.  As I moved it I looked down at another ring I bought for myself the other day, inscribed with the words “Love, Hope, Friendship Forever”. That’s what it’s all about, for me.

Safe onward travel x

COPPERHEAD ROAD.

Today, the day of Malcolm’s birthday, the day after writing the last post, we made the same journey. As we drove my young friend flicked through the radio stations looking for music. To my joy, and not complete surprise, the song Copperhead Road came on and I recognised it immediately. It was one of Malcolm’s favourite songs and it was played at his funeral.

So, on his birthday he sent me a gift! How cool is that?

Nothing Gold Can Stay – Robert Frost

Nature’s first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

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HOLLER IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE BEEN DOWN THE SAME ROAD.

This morning I received an email from the legal firm representing Baby Daddy in a little difference of opinion we are having. The email came from an underling of the actual representative, who bluntly asked for Daughter Number One’s birth date with just her first name. There were a few things that bothered me about this. One was that this person is a stranger to me and did not know my daughter so I felt less familiarity and more respect would have been appropriate. Secondly, Baby Daddy and I actually got married on what would have been Daughter Number One’s 17th birthday. I met him less than twelve months after she died; even if he couldn’t remember which birthday I married him on he knew how old she was when she died. So, you know, do the math, genius. But he WOULDN’T. EVER. BE BOTHERED. Because all she ever was to him was an opportunity for exploitation; whether he was throwing her death at me to score points in an argument or spending the compensation money received from her death. He is a class act

 

It’s funny the things that go through your head. Aside from everything else I lost in that car, on that day, there were the other incidental things that I kept discovering as time went on. My little niece’s shoes. She lived with us at the time. Not her only shoes but a favourite pair. She is in high school now. Son Number Two’s comfort teddy blankie. The one he’d had since before he was born. That was a bit of a blow. Luckily I had a spare but although it was the same, it wasn’t the same. It hadn’t been as well loved, it wasn’t as worn and soft from use. For weeks afterwards looking for things and then realising. 

 

It is over a year now since my beloved Nana died. Even so, because she died during Easter last year it is almost as if I am now having a delayed reaction to the anniversary. I miss her. 

 

The other day facebook told me the police officer involved in the case was having a birthday. A few days before that it had been pictures of his son’s birthday that pictured him with both his son and daughter. Star Wars themed. Very cool. He’s not a police officer any more. He was very decent to me. He still is. We are facebook friends. I wish him well. Life is weird. 

 

Tonight I will spend time with the Love of My Life and a young friend from an older time as well as go to see more recent friends and meet their new four legged baby. If I’m very, very lucky I might be able to wrangle a motorbike ride, which would be just the therapy I need probably. That and the company. Just keep swimming, right? 

 

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Safe onward travel x 

 

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