A Whole New World

Boy, mention penis size in one post and watch your view numbers go through the roof! Today someone happened upon me by writing ‘NudistJoe’ in a search engine. I wonder if they found what they were looking for? I expect they were left sorely disappointed. Speaking of sorely disappointed…

Over the last 48hrs, in the world of online dating, I have been coming to the attention of the over 60’s male. This is a new and different experience for me. I wouldn’t have thought myself ageist, but there’s something unsettling about receiving virtual winks from men old enough to be my father. I’m sure there’s a market for the older gentleman, particularly the ridiculously wealthy ones that have a penchant for wearing bathrobes as day wear, but I’m not feeling it, myself. So on we go, to an appropriately aged very good-looking, educated guy….who is pictured with his BMW. Who then goes on to mention his BMW a further four times in the bulk of his profile, just in case you missed the photo. And who is looking for….. drum roll please……someone to love his BMW as much as he does. Wow. Well, I’m sure she’s out there. Named Paris or Whitney or something. I hope they live long, shallow lives making beautiful one note music together. There’s someone for everyone, right?

But what about the someone for me? Since I’ve already confessed to the ageism thing I may as well tell all. I want a guy who can spell. There, I said it. One of the wink’s mentioned above was from a man whose spelling was so poor it was a toss-up for me deciding whether he was saying he was ‘retired’ or ‘retarded’. Seriously. I HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT. If I have to work so hard to decipher your words it better be because you are an exotic type with english as your second language. Who likes walking about shirtless showing off your bronzed buff body……..sorry, where was I? Seriously, I couldn’t care if you are losing your hair or have a few extra pounds – I’ll even overlook the BMW if you are entertaining enough. Just please be able to throw together a few words. In a comprehensible order. Spelled correctly.

They’ve been coming at me from all parts of the country this week too. Now, as Mr Victoria said only last week, love knows no bounds. The Family Law Act in Australia surely does though. For anyone with children in their care there are restrictions on where you can move, dependent on the children’s right to meaningful contact with the other parent. I’m all for meaningful contact for Daughter Number Two. I have gone to great efforts, not to mention expense, to support Baby Daddy and his relationship with his daughter. I would expect, should I choose to relocate, to continue to support a meaningful relationship between them. It somewhat galls me then, to realise my choice may be between pursuing happiness and quality of life for myself, leaving my daughter in the place she currently calls home or to stay in a place where I am unhappy in order to parent her, and so her other parent can have her delivered up like pizza when he feels in the mood, until she reaches adulthood. I’m not saying my right to happiness is more important than my daughters right to a meaningful relationship with Baby Daddy. What I am saying is that it is equally important.

When I said as much to Baby Daddy earlier this year he caught a whiff of power and ran with it. He basically said it would be over his dead body that I would relocate with Daughter Number Two. I thought it was awfully kind of him to volunteer. Seriously, it pissed me off. As I said I have gone above and beyond what is my part of supporting a meaningful relationship between them. You want to play by the letter of the law? Let’s do it.

So, I drew my line and I held it. I held it as he threw his usual threats and I called him on every bluff.  And earlier this week he conceded that a positive working relationship with me was worth more to him than keeping me here against my will. So there’s a  happy ending for you, and for me.

Now, I’m off to feed the kids.