A love story

Anyway, so I’ve been having a browse around some internet dating sites. I’ve even set myself up some very basic profiles on a couple. I had two motivations for this. One was to remind myself that there are indeed other fish in the sea, and secondly to expand my social circle. I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have some friends I don’t need to catch a plane to spend time with. Actually, what would be nicer would be to win the lottery and have my own private plane to visit my friends as I wish but beggars, choosers and all that.

Last night I joined a free site and all night was inundated with messages from men. Or people purporting to be men, because you shouldn’t trust everything you read on the internet y’know. Keeping in mind that my profile had the barest minimum of information the level of attention was hardly flattering. I could’ve written ‘I have a pulse- queue starts here!’ and had the same response. Actually I probably could’ve left off the pulse bit. Wow, there are some interesting people out there and I mean that in the broadest sense of the word. I had a message from someone calling himself ‘Verysexuallyfrustrated’. I was so glad he’d clarified with the very, as I would’ve hated to underestimate his level of sexual frustration. Then there was ‘Nudistjoe’ the part time naturist. I’ve really nothing against naturism, I wish I were that brave. But that’s really the first thing you want to tell a complete stranger about yourself? Really?

So, fast forward to this evening where I have another ‘potential love interest’ lead with ‘What size are you 12? 14? 16? ‘. Mmmmmm. What I should’ve said was ‘What size is your penis fuckface?’ But I didn’t. What I did do was hide my profile. I need to become less polite and grow a thicker skin before I start that up again. For all the interesting characters though (see what I mean about the polite thing?) there was one guy who made me laugh aloud. Genuine laughter, not a ‘you are a pathetic small man’ snort type of laughter. And for today that’s quite enough. More than enough really. And much more than expected.