I was traveling home with some groceries last night, on dusk. As the car I was traveling in slowed to turn into the street I know by heart, it lit up the street sign and I smiled. How many times have I written that name? Before I knew this street. After. How can a simple street name mean so much? But it does. Last night I looked at the illuminated street sign and felt myself relax. All roads lead to Rome.
I remember the first time I saw that sign. Illuminated by headlights that night as well, but much later in the evening. Nearing midnight and so windy. The weather cold. And I’d come such a long way, with my little Daughter Number Two, and travelled for a long time – all of my life, really. I saw that street sign and knew that my journey was almost at an end. I was equal parts relief and anxiety.
In truth, with hindsight, I knew nothing. For if I had I’d have known the journey was just beginning.
I started the day with the (what has become) usual headache, and turned on the computer to find twelve views of my words!! Perhaps it is just a case of if you write it they will come, or maybe it is one person viewing my blog twelve times? Whatever, it did give me a little buzz- someone is out there!
My day was just as taxing as I’d imagined. One of the doctor’s appointments I had this morning was to find out the results of a pap smear that I’d worked up the courage to have after three and a half years. And the results were……drum roll please!……..’technically unsatisfactory’. Which basically means they didn’t get a good enough sample to test and would I please come back in three months for another go? Isn’t that just a pain in the ……..well, you know where. I suppose it serves me right for avoiding it for so long. I do know it is stupid, and I was really proud of myself for tackling it in the spirit of my new looking after myself kick. I think Jade Goody’s death probably provided the final nudge. Anyhow, looks like I get to be proud of myself again in three months.
While I was there I also hopped on the scales and found I was a kilo and a half HEAVIER than when I started eating less junk and exercising. Yes, it really was a cheery trip to the doctor’s. She tried to console me with the knowledge that muscle weighs more than fat and that if I have been exercising it is possible that I have been increasing my muscle bulk. Mmmmmmm. That may be theoretically so but it still felt like a big kick in the teeth, with the temptation of giving up looming large. My clothes do seem to be fitting better though, or at least I thought they were? Now I’m wondering if it is just wishful thinking? SIGH. Anyway, I haven’t been at it very long so I’ll give it a good go before I call it a day. I don’t give up easily.
My visit to Centrelink (which is social security) would have been straight forward if not for the very bad weather we’ve been having. This meant I was not the only one going there today, and the queues were very long. Daughter Number Two takes after her mother in the patience department and was very put out by having to stand around for an enormous amount of time doing nothing. I’d like to say her shrieking helped me get served in a speedier fashion but I don’t think it did. I think it just annoyed everyone we were waiting with.
Anyway, I accomplished all I set out to do and although I literally feel like I’ve run a marathon I am thinking positively about all the exercise I have done walking all over town. I was going to tell you that I picked up some belated birthday items from the Post Office for Daughter Number Two. A dinner set with Miffy on it. Daughter Number Two is a big Miffy fan! I was going to tell you that I somehow had lost the Miffy dinner set after getting it home. That I had looked and looked but couldn’t for the life of me remember what I had done with it upon getting it home.I was going to tell you how my brain no longer functions too highly and that sometimes it is a wonder I can make it through the day. That my memory and concentration are shot to shit and the reasons why I am not in any hurry to learn how to drive any time soon.
Thankfully Son Number One went to have his bath and found the Miffy dinner set in the children’s bathroom (don’t ask, I don’t know!) . So, all’s well that ends well, right?