Posts tagged ‘gay marriage’

WE’VE BEEN POISONED BY THESE FAIRY TALES. 


All we have to do, at any given moment, is take the next step. Sometimes they are big steps and sometimes they are baby steps. Sometimes they are sidesteps and sometimes we take a step back. But all we have to do, at any given moment, is take the next step. 
Last week I had the most lovely day with friends. We took my friend’s two year old, The Best Boy, to the park. Actually we took him to two parks! At the second we met a dog, named Milo, who was swinging on a swing. Chill as you please. Milo was so relaxed he even let The Best Boy push him on the swing. It was very cool to watch. Unexpected and entertaining. Milo, you are a legend. 
I watched The Best Boy navigating both the parks we took him to. His sturdy little legs and boundless enthusiasm taking him further and higher, one step at a time. His Mum was there to offer a steadying hand when he needed it; it’s good to have support around you. 

Incredibly, to me, Australia is still debating Marriage Equality. I am waiting for us to take the next step. 
Change isn’t always easy, even when it is necessary. Even when it is the right thing. Even when we know it will be the best thing. It is difficult to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. But if we do we can be Milo the dog, swinging at the park, sun in our face and wind in our hair. Loving life! 

Someone special gave me a little cactus plant. It had grown quite a lot and I was worried that it was getting too crowded in it’s little pot. I don’t have a green thumb and I thought that I might kill it if I tried to repot it. What I knew for sure though, was that it had outgrown it’s little pot. To keep living and thriving I would need to find it a new place to be. It wouldn’t look the same. It would have to adjust to it’s changed environment. But it couldn’t stay where it was. 
So I found a white pot, with ‘Grow! Grow! Grow!’ painted up the side. I found some lush soil and I replanted the little cactus. I gave it a little bit of water and let it have a little bit of sun. I don’t know exactly how it will work out but I know that I have given it the best chance to survive and flourish. 
There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes you just have to make your move and take the next step. Talk to a stranger, climb up a mountain, go to the theatre, walk out the door, open your arms.  Live your life. Grow and flourish. One step at a time. 
❤️💛💚💙💜
Safe onward travel x 

TWO STRONG HEARTS.

After another flight and a train trip up the coast Son Number Two, Daughter Number Two and I arrived at our station to be picked up to begin The Wedding festivities. That train station has changed since I knew it first. The overhead walkway and the stairs are at the opposite end of the platform than they used to be. This is the station from which I used to commute to my all girls, Catholic, junior high school and to Sydney to attend ATYP as a teenager. The station sits in the suburb where I attended the local public, co-ed high school, which is where I met my two very dear friends, one of whom was getting married this weekend. This was the station I alighted at on the day Daughter Number One was born, scared and unsure if the pain I was feeling were contractions. Across the road from the station sits the small unit where I lived during my first pregnancy.

We arrived and the night was dark and cool. It had been a long day. It was late. We were met by my high school friend’s child bride (she is ten years younger than the rest of us!) who collected some take away before taking us to the venue. The Child Bride looked fantastic and it was so very good to see her again! There we met up with my other dear high school friend and her daughter. I think I’ve mentioned before that we three high school friends each have daughters born in the same year; very cool indeed! When Daughter Number Two lived with me we would regularly meet up with our daughters even though we lived a distance apart but Daughter Number Two had not seen her little friends for three years. It was a subdued reunion as my friend’s – let’s call my friend Comet for the purposes of this blog – daughter was unwell and Daughter Number Two had had a very long day but for me it was lovely to see them together again. Comet, her Shooting Star, my Son Number Two and Daughter Number Two and I sat down and had dinner together after exhorting the Child Bride to go home to her family to get some sleep before the big day.

Comet and I finished dinner and I helped her in continuing to decorate the reception space. When we’d gone as long as we could and thought that what was left was manageable the next day we headed to bed ourselves. When we awoke in the morning I opened the door of our cabin and looked across the grass to the building opposite. On the verandah of the hall like building opposite was a TARDIS!! Seriously!! Very cool indeed. So, I got Son Number Two and Daughter Number Two dressed and hauled them over there to take photo’s, as you do. The preparations and decorating for The Wedding continued into the morning and then it was time to get ready for the ceremony. I dressed Daughter Number Two in the dress that I’d ordered from the internet for her and it was as perfect with her colouring as I’d known it would be. Son Number Two put on his good jeans and a smart shirt and I dressed myself in a pastel rainbow jumper, a flowery skirt and these really cool, really cheap black boots that a friend of mine had helped me pick out several days before. Comet had decorated the ceremony site and the pathway leading to it with candles in jars and rainbow windmills. It was a beautiful bush setting with flowers and the sound of bird life in the trees. Then this lovely song started and from two different paths that converged into one the Child Bride and my dear other high school friend (we’ll call her Lovemetender), who I was seeing for the first time since we arrived, came walking towards the assembled gathering. Lovemetender was holding their eldest daughter’s, Priscilla’s hand and the Child Bride held the hand of their youngest daughter, Lisa-Marie. I had only ever met Lisa-Marie once before, on the day she had arrived home from hospital after her birth three years earlier. The two brides and their two beautiful daughters walked down their paths and then met in the middle. They walked to the front of their assembled guests and stood together in front of the celebrant.

The celebrant opened the ceremony and welcomed everyone. I knew that I was up next and as I felt my throat constrict with unfallen tears of the happy persuasion I remembered that it had been a very, very long time – literally decades – since I had done any kind of public speaking. I wondered if I would be able to speak at all. It was such an honour to be asked though and meant so much to me, so I took a few deep breaths and when my name was called I stepped forward. My voice shook and it took effort to raise it to an audible level. I concentrated on Lovemetender and her bride and spoke the words I had written specially for them, to them. And they smiled and it was ok. I watched as my friends said their vows to each other and toddler wrangled simultaneously. I watched as the sand ceremony involved their nuclear and extended families. I watched as they signed their certificate and had photo’s at the end. There was so much love there and I was lucky to be a part of it. Seriously, there was laughter, tears, family and friends. There were two people madly in love committing to spending their lives and raising their family together. You don’t get much realer than that.

In all honesty I can say it was the best wedding I have ever been to and I’ve been to three of my own! On the day that would have marked the 25th anniversary of my own child bride wedding my lovely friends posted a video of photo’s of their special day set to music. I’ve watched it many times since then and the exquisite beauty never gets old. I see again in those photo’s how the Child Bride looks at Lovemetender, how they look at each other with such love, and I know in my life I have never had anyone look at me that way and chances are I never will. And watching their video I finally realised why there are so many people against gay marriage; they are afraid gays do it better!

Love to you all x

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gaymarriage

SAY GERONIMO!

Hey guys, this is the speech I gave at the wedding. As I waited to speak on the day it suddenly occurred to me what an extremely long time it had been since I had done any public speaking at all, like, over a decade at least. Which was when I began to get very, very nervous. Anyway, it seemed to go alright, so, enjoy!:

William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”

Looking around this gathering of the Happy Couple’s family and friends it is easy to see many kinds of love. The love of parents for their children and children for their parents, of siblings for each other, the love of extended family, the love of friendship – we are surrounded by it!

What I think William was saying in his sonnet is that love seeps into our very souls and stains us and that love becomes part of who we are. Love gives us shelter in life’s storms and love is the light that guides us home. At the end of the day, when all else is lost, love is what remains.

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments”. Every relationship has it’s challenges but love is what prevails; over time, over distance, during disappointments and trials. Love endures, love connects, love strengthens. For ten years the love between the Happy Couple has endured. They have a lovely home, a strong partnership and two gorgeous daughters that stand as testament to their love. It doesn’t get realer than that. Their love has brought together this gathering and our love for them will support the Happy Couple and their family as they go forward into the future.

I’ll close with the words of another poet who is close to my heart:

“You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you shine on me wherever you are
I just think of you and I start to glow
And I need your light
And baby you know

You must be my Lucky Star
‘Cause you make the darkness seem so far
And when I’m lost you’ll be my guide
I just turn around and you’re by my side”

Happy Couple, you have found your lucky stars in each other, which makes you very lucky indeed. Thank you for the honour of sharing this day with you.

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MARRY THAT GIRL, MARRY HER ANYWAY…

Yesterday I was asked to do a reading at a dear friend’s wedding in August. There are not many bigger compliments one can be paid. I am truly touched and excited beyond belief.

During the longest night ever, when I was so very, very scared and so very, very alone there was one friend I called. Just to feel less alone. I have two dear friends that I went to high school with. They were bridesmaids at my child bride first wedding. They were there when I gave birth to Daughter Number One. They knew her for her whole life and they came to her funeral. During the longest night ever one of my dear friends had a young child that wasn’t sleeping well. The other lived alone and so I rang her. And she answered. And she kept answering my calls, all through that long, long night. Even as I went from confused to terrified to distraught. By the next morning, when I knew the worst, she still answered my calls. Then she came to my Daughter’s funeral and in all the years since she has stayed my friend. Even when being my friend cannot have been easy and judging me most definitely would have been. That’s true of all my friends, the ones who love me and I know how lucky I am.

After my Daughter Number One died I watched as my dear friend met someone new who made her smile. I was privileged to watch her fall in love. I’ve watched as she’s renovated a home and raised two daughters and built a life with her one true love. This is one of the strongest, most enduring relationships I’ve seen in my life. I’m sure they have their hard times, everyone does, relationships are hard work but love has prevailed and in August, when they will celebrate ten years together my dear friend and her true love will be married.

Kind of. Sort of. Except it can’t technically be called a wedding because my dear friend’s one true love is also a woman. And my country doesn’t recognise their ‘kind’ of love and commitment – that would be the REAL kind if you ask me! My country says that the only ‘true’ marriages are between a man and a woman. On this issue I am embarrassed by the laws of this land. We are behind much of the civilised world and it feels backwards in the extreme.
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Love is love.

I told you recently about a friend confiding in me about proposing to her partner. I wrote of the happiness I felt. That also is an EPIC love story and luckily for you their love story right up to the grand proposal has been shared with the world on my friends blog. So, do yourselves a favour and go check it out for a feel good read and try not to cry at the video (I failed)! If you do, you’ll note that my friend is also a girl in love with a girl.

Love is love! In this world where so many bad things happen to so many good people, in this life that is so short and when love is all that remains when everything else has gone why can’t love just be love? I get to plan my wedding and call it that. I get to have my marriage recognised by law. How can anyone judge that my love is more real, or true, or deserving than either of my friends? They are building lives together, they are raising children together, they have made homes together. How could my love be more valid just because my partner is a certain sex? There’s a simple answer. It’s not.

Love is love.

Be careful what you wish for….

I don’t remember any dreams from last night, which is good. The reason I don’t remember though is that my little almost two year old girl decided to have a pyjama party between midnight and 3am.So, that was nice. I am feeling pretty shattered today, naturally on a day when there is lots to do.

 

Despite this I feel calm. Not remembering any pesky nightmares probably helps with that. It is also a truly beautiful day outside. The knowledge that I have just three sleeps left until I get to spend some time with someone who makes my heart sing probably also helps.

 

As you know thoughts of love, what it is, what it means, are a bit of a theme with me. I just want to state for the record that I am pro gay marriage. I’m pro love in any form and I’m all for expressions of love big and small. So long as you are not hurting yourself or others I just can’t see how an expression of love can be a bad thing.

 

Anyhow, those are my thoughts for this morning. As I said I have a busy day ahead and thanks to last nights activities (oh, how I wish I meant that in another way!) I am running later than usual. I hope your day is a good one.

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