Posts tagged ‘future’


Yesterday was a good day. Time spent with a dear friend who I haven’t seen for ages and her beautiful Danes.  Khe Sanh on the radio as we drove home. A glorious sunset.

I’ve seen lots of sunsets lately.

I’m ready for the sunrise!

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~Stephen King

Safe onward travel x

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We’ll Take a Cup of Kindness Yet.

I was traveling home with some groceries last night, on dusk. As the car I was traveling in slowed to turn into the street I know by heart, it lit up the street sign and I smiled. How many times have I written that name? Before I knew this street. After. How can a simple street name mean so much? But it does. Last night I looked at the illuminated street sign and felt myself relax. All roads lead to Rome.

I remember the first time I saw that sign. Illuminated by headlights that night as well, but much later in the evening. Nearing midnight and so windy. The weather cold. And I’d come such a long way, with my little Daughter Number Two, and travelled for a long time – all of my life, really. I saw that street sign and knew that my journey was almost at an end. I was equal parts relief and anxiety.

In truth, with hindsight, I knew nothing. For if I had I’d have known the journey was just beginning.

I gotta wear shades.

So, we went to check out a high school for Son Number Two today. The ‘we’ being Son Number Two, myself and The One That I Love. And, you guys, the school was AH-MAY-ZING! It is a private school and impressive to say the least. They have a massive auditorium/ theatre which literally took my breath away. There’s not much I wouldn’t have given to have those kind of facilities and this kind of opportunity when I was in high school. Daughter Number One also would have loved it – but she did have the opportunity of a selective school and as many courses to foster her talent that I could find and pay for, and she made the most of all of them. Son Number Two has a trust fund arising from compensation from his sister’s death. The trust will foot the bill for the private school. It is not something I’d be able to afford without it. It is bittersweet but I am trying to focus on the good for Son Number Two.

And that was definitely my focus this morning; what an amazing opportunity for Son Number Two. The school is clean and spacious and with state of the art facilities and sea views from the science labs. It has a very structured disciplinary code and only 3 classes in Year 7. Further validation that the decision to come here was the right one. Sitting beside The One I Love listening to the headmaster speak; I’m not sure that I have the words to describe how much that meant to me. To know someone has my back. To feel that support and have such evidence of it on a daily basis; it is almost more than I know what to do with. A couple of posts ago I was posturing about needing something more tangible but clearly I am a fool. I’m not sure how much more tangible you can get. The time and energy and thought spent. IT BLOWS MY MIND.

If ever I feel a bit shakey then it’s fear getting the better of me. If all the crap stuff has felt real to me then surely I can let the good stuff feel real too? I am in a good place.  I need to let myself be.

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