So, I was talking to my good friend Barry the taxi driver yesterday. I love Barry, he is a definite kindred spirit. He was teasing me about breaking his heart when I was running my plans to relocate past him. It made me think. Not about Barry literally, he’s happily ensconced in a relationship. Just about soul mates in general. I like to believe in soul mates and I definitely believe in kindred spirits. My view is a bit broader than others I’ve come across though. I don’t necessarily think there is only one person for everyone, only one true soul mate with whom you can be happy and content. I am lucky enough to have found kindred spirits in all sorts of places, who have made excellent travelling companions on life’s journey.
With some people, it is shared history that binds you. Shared experience that informs their understanding of you. With others it’s a shared outlook. With a select few it is an understanding that goes deeper, straight to instinct. And sometimes, if you are very lucky, you get all three. The trick, in my opinion, is to stay open to people and to life’s experiences. In the years since Daughter Number One died it’s not always been easy for me to do. Daughter Number One embraced life and other people so wholeheartedly. It would not honour her at all to become closed and bitter and cold. Plus it’s not who I am. So, despite the challenges I remain me, open of mind and heart, with open eyes as well.
Broken though I am, I am not looking for another to complete me. I don’t believe soul mates come along to complete us. I believe it’s up to us to complete ourselves. I don’t feel like I am a jigsaw puzzle with a heart-shaped gap waiting to be filled. I think it’s more like a song. One of you brings the lyrics, the other the melody, and you make beautiful music together. It follows for me that there may be many you can make music with, and many songs you can make. The lyrics, by themselves, have intrinsic value. As does the melody standing alone. If you find the right combination their beauty together is more than the sum of their parts. Sometimes the song sucks. The emotional equivalent of Rebecca Black’s Friday. But other times you know you’ve got yourself a number 1 hit. It’s all about the fit.