Posts tagged ‘dating’

I would walk 500 miles.

I’ve been following the entertaining Courtney Beck’s quest for love. You can find her at http://reasonstodatecourtneybeck.tumblr.com/ . Although Courtney is a girl looking for a girl the themes in her writing are universal. Der! Because love, whatever your sexual orientation, is a universal human need. To love and to be loved in return. I really like Courtney’s style and I admire her bravery in putting herself out there. Her quest is as much about self discovery as it is about discovering another and for many reasons, obviously, it resonates with me.

Talking with my friend last week we were speaking of similar things. He’s met someone who he is excited about and they’ve been spending time together. I am excited for him. This is a really good guy; smart, funny, talented in numerous ways, who was badly burnt in his last relationship. It’s not just his love life that has been rejuvenated, other areas of his life are blooming as well. To see him hopeful and living his life again, instead of just existing, it’s – it’s hard to find the words really, without sounding patronising, but it gladdens my heart. We were discussing how far you go for love. He has relocated once in the name of love and if things progress with his current interest he’ll be faced with doing so again. It seems to me though, that geography is the easy bit. If he has found his muse then surely that is the hard job done?

He is a friend I met through an internet dating website. He has been, and continues to be, a part of my own recent development and growth. It was a challenge to put myself out there and respond to his initial email, but the pay off has been enormous. Each time we talk or meet I learn more about myself. It is a good, mutually beneficial friendship. My forays into the world of internet dating have shown me there are good quality guys out there, and that people are mostly all looking for the same things.

So, how far do you go for love? Whether you start your own website like Courtney, or move to be closer to the one you love, or step out of your comfort zone it seems to me that love involves putting yourself out there on some level. Taking a chance. Making yourself vulnerable. Bob Marley said “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”  The Goo Goo Dolls sang ‘You bleed just to know you are alive’.

That’s what I’m trying to do. Keep living. Keep loving. One step at a time.

Me, myself, I.

Oh life! When will you stop playing practical jokes at my expense? Although my internet dating profiles are currently hidden I had an email today from someone who’d ‘winked’ at me a couple of weeks ago. On one popular site it’s ‘wink’ and on another it’s ‘kiss’. Basically it’s a way for people to express an interest without actually expending any effort or outlaying any cash. Kind of like ‘Yeah, your profile looks ok, but I’m too broke or stingy to pay for contact credits, so I’ll hope you are desperate enough to make the effort for me.’ That kind of thing. Totally flattering. Anyway, me being me before I got jack of the whole thing, had responded with a polite email.

Fast forward two weeks and I get an email this morning. IN WHICH HE TALKS ABOUT HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. OMG. Besides the third person thing- like that’s not enough- he went on to ask if I could please send some photo’s and remind him of my profile name so he could keep track of who he was talking to. Uh huh. Way to make a girl feel special! Being the completely jaded cynic I am I sent back a sharply worded response.

I’m not really a jaded cynic. Which is why my profile’s are staying hidden for now. I just don’t have the armour to protect myself from this kind of thing. It’s not just the creepy guys or the obvious scammers that I’m finding so hard to bear. It’s the nice guys who just aren’t my type that I have trouble dealing with. Not that I believe any one is living or dying by my responses but it’s a brave thing to put yourself out there, even to that extent. It’s a hopeful thing, and I don’t like to be the one taking that little spark of hope and crushing it. I’ve accomplished what I set out to do,  to broaden my social circle and remind myself that there are other fish in the sea, so that’s enough for me. Which may be unfortunate as far as material for this blog goes but anyway.

I’ve established that on the balance of probabilitites it’s unlikely I will lack company if I want it. I’ve also well and truly established that I am no longer an ‘any port in a storm’ girl. I do like a good adventure though.

Mr Third Person answered my email. Turns out he’s just a genuine guy hiding behind bravado. He gets points for not bailing at the first challenge. He also gets another email. So there life, this time the joke’s on you!

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