It has been an absolutely gorgeous day today. It was warm and sunny but with a lovely cool breeze that has been gently caressing my skin all day. Just perfect really. I feel good. The events of the day have been usual, with a mix of positive and not so much but I feel good at my core. Calm and peaceful.
There is still alot to do with three kids, my Nana, a Baby Daddy and Christmas is steam rolling downhill towards me but despite all that I feel like everything is ok. Like everything will be ok. That I will be ok. More than ok really. I have been in survival mode for so long but more and more I am making time to stop and just enjoy where I am now. To appreciate the things in my life and myself that are positive.
I’m sure I’ve said things like this before, but something feels different this time. I feel different. I feel like I’m back in the driver’s seat of my life. I have no doubt that there will be more tough days to come, life is like that, but I hope I can hang on to this feeling of peace and savour it.
My gorgeous daughter number two is two years old today! She sings, dances, she is funny, opinionated, and kind. She is beautiful and clever and I am so very very blessed to have her in my life. She is her own person more and more and not a baby any longer.
Her determination and strength of will have been noticeable from birth. She arrived exactly a month before her due date- which was pretty accurate as I knew when I’d conceived. I only had one hour and fifteen minutes of contractions before she flew out. She still knows how to make an entrance! She has brought so much joy to so many people, she is a magical child, a true gift.
Daughter number two has no concept that today is a special day for her, but she has greeted the day with her usual joie de vivre. It is a trait she shares with her elder sister. Although the weather is grey with storms forecast the outlook is good for fun and chocolate cake!!
I have pulled myself up and dusted myself off from yesterday. Before the day was out I had managed to get out of my pyjamas and go for a walk in the bracing wind. I quite like the wind. I find it exhilarating. It literally blows any cobwebs away.I love the feeling of my hair streaming out behind me like ribbons on a kite. It makes me feel alive!!
I also connected with my current person of interest which helped as well. He emanates calm. He is an oasis of peace in the chaos of my world. It is a very attractive quality of which he has many.
My Nana is settling in her new home well and although I had very vivid dreams there were no nightmares that I remember from last night. Although I am still a bit shaky I am still standing. Today is a good day!