My phone rang at 12.33am this morning. Phone calls at that time are usually not good news, unless they have been proceeded by a text saying ‘I’m still awake, call me if you want’. But there hadn’t been any such text.

I was lying on my bed with my headphones on. A new friend (not old, kind of borrowed and definitely Blue friend) and I had been talking earlier in the week and he’d been telling me how to break the circuit of dreams I’d been having. He suggested listening to music at bedtime but specifically stuff I haven’t heard before. I guess because that way there are no emotions or memories attached?

So I’d gone into iTunes and was playing their ‘charting now’ selection while lying on top of the bed with the cool breeze coming in the open window caressing the length of my body, soothing it after the heat of the day. My phone started vibrating in the middle of my chest, startling me from my reverie. I answered but no one spoke.

After the call ended I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. A wrong number, I guess.

I am lying on top of my bed this morning, listening to the laughter and shrieks as My Young Friend and his lovely fiancée play after a long working week. My Young Friend calls out in jest ‘Kate! You want to join in?’ But I laughingly decline. Three
is most definitely a crowd. They have all they need in each other, which is as it should be.

I am glad to hear their happiness though and grateful they share it with me.


Oh and by the way, the music thing? It actually works for me! Waking up has been much gentler thanks to the kindness of another.

Safe onward travel x


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