It’s been a long week and I am tired. I was reading through a piece of writing Son Number Two had done for English the other day. The task was to write about his favourite song, album, piece of music and I was interested to hear what he would say. What he wrote broke my heart.
He described music as just noise and was unperturbed by the reactions of others, which ranged from pity to bemusement, to this claim. He stated music neither moved nor soothed him. It was just another noise in the background of life.
For me, music has always been soul food. Like books, music elevated me from my childhood and showed me other places and other faces. It gave me a place to run to and sheltered me from many a storm. Although I have few memories of a less than memorable childhood I vividly recall watching a televised Dire Straits concert during a tour of Australia in the ’80’s as the usual war raged between the Stepfather and the Mother. I was in a small sitting room off the side of the lounge and as the battle sounds got louder I carefully shut the sliding glass door to the room and turned the volume on the tv up a little and prayed that they didn’t notice me until it had ended. Because it was GLORIOUS!! And certainly beat the usual soundtrack of my life.
I don’t remember what happened that night, if I watched the whole concert or not. I just remember how it felt. How it transported me from my bleak existence and let me taste freedom. Music still has that effect on me to this very day. For me though, the death of Daughter Number One, who was passionate about music herself, was also the day the music died. It literally took me years to listen to music again and longer to be able to sing along. For a long while I didn’t even notice it’s absence. Son Number Two, who was four when his big sister died, grew up in that musical vacuum. While I could renew my love affair with music he never got to begin his. Consequently, to him, it is just another noise.
Reading the words my Son wrote was like a blow. Some things, once done, cannot be undone. You cannot ever go back, only forward. Things change in a heart beat and the ripples flow throughout the years.
Live, laugh, love because life is now. And play some music loud x