The lovely Courtney Beck wrote this post on her blog a little while ago about making time for your relationship and the person you are in a relationship with. It really resonated with me but it’s hard, hard, hard. Because, you know, as John Lennon sang ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans’. And there’s kids and work and school and chores and tasks and day to day drudgery all piled up to get through each and every day until you feel like you are starring in Groundhog Day without Bill Murray or Andie MacDowell or a script writer to make the whole thing vaguely amusing. No, instead you are writing your own dialogue – what there is of it – which consists mostly of talking about who took out the garbage or didn’t, ‘no, stop, don’t, why?’ to the children, organising schedules and paying bills. Until one day you look over at the person you are meant to be sharing your life with and realising you have lost each other along the way. That instead of looking at each other you have gotten into the habit of looking past each other because everything else seems so much more pressing.
The Love Of My Life put a movie on for lunch with the children last Sunday. It was the the 1958 version of Tom Thumb. At the beginning of the film the woodcutter/husband bursts through the door full of excitement at just having been given three wishes by the Queen of the forest. The wife is preparing dinner and completely ignoring him, ‘yes dear’-ing at every opportunity. Not seeing him, not hearing him. Finally he gets his point across but she keeps interjecting and talking over him and in the crossed wires confusion all three wishes have been used and there they stand, blaming each other. The woodcutter walks over to a little ornament on the mantle. It is two bluebirds with a heart in between them. The bluebirds were facing outwards, away from each other. He turned one bluebird so it was facing towards the heart and towards the other bluebird. Seeing that, the wife stops her rant and walks over to the mantle. She turns the outward facing bluebird towards the heart, towards the other bluebird, so they are facing each other, touching each other as if they are kissing. And then she turned to face her husband. By lunchtime last Sunday it had already been a very long day. This scene brought me to tears. And I thought to myself “Gotta get me one of them things!!”
During the week a friend of mine described a relationship as “Two, in tune, working together, for each other” and I thought that sounded pretty damn good to me. (By the way, he’s single ladies!) So, if you are lucky enough to have someone who is willing to walk by your side then take the time, make the time to turn towards them. Really look at them, really see them, the them they are without the kids and the bills and the washing. Touch them, kiss them, really hear them. Be with them. ‘Cause this is now and life goes fast.
Safe onward travel x