Tomorrow is my eldest Daughter’s 25th birthday, or it would be, you know, if she hadn’t been murdered and everything over ten years ago. 

It’s still her birthday I guess, only she doesn’t get to be a year older. 

I don’t get to meet up with my twenty five year old Daughter for lunch and reminisce, or chat about her job, or what she’s wearing out to dinner – with her friends? A new romantic prospect? A long term partner? 

I will never know my Daughter as an adult. Years of birthday’s flash through my head before coming to an abrupt halt at the last one. 

There were nowhere near enough of them. 

Tomorrow I will give thanks for having known her at all. And that is not enough either. 

Travel safe x 


Comments on: "ISN’T SHE LOVELY." (6)

  1. Nothing I can say would be adequate, but I can’t begin to understand such a thing.

  2. I have lost someone nearly as close in circumstances tragic but not nearly as soul shattering. I walk with you on days I remember her.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope on her birthday you will remember the good times. Best wishes.

  4. Hi Kate,
    I have to be honest and say that I initially only searched your blog because I wanted that website name (whatkatedidnext). However I then read the words a part of your story and subsequently haven’t been able to stop all day…
    I am sorry for your loss. I know not how you feel, nor could I ever imagine. You tell your story with honesty, sadness and complete openness… it is a honour to read.
    Your insights into PTSD are incredibly powerful to also read. I must admit at this point that I am a therapist and I work with children who have sensory difficulties and hyper vigilance due to trauma (in this case child abuse) and they experience a lot of what you describe so well.
    So thank you for sharing your journey which has not only benefited my learning but has impacted me on a personal level… And I thought you should know this.
    Good luck with whatkatedidnext – I must say… It’s an awesomely original name 😉

    • kate4samh said:

      Hi Kate 🙂 I like the name too, and the books. That’s one of the best ways I’ve heard of finding me, to be honest. I’ve actually written a couple of posts on ways people have happened upon my blog and believe me when I say yours was one of the best. Actually, even better is that you stayed for a while. That you took the time to comment is a gift beyond measure. Happy writing x

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