Son Number Two turned fifteen last Saturday and then Sunday was Father’s Day. An emotionally charged weekend all around. Father’s Day is difficult for my Sons, as it is for me and many others I expect, for varying reasons. More difficult for me though was that Son Number Two has now reached an age his elder sister never saw. Both my Sons are now older than Daughter Number One ever had the chance to be. Like burying your child it is outside the natural order of things. She was their big sister but now they are bigger. And Daughter Number Two has a big sister she will never get to meet. It does not stop jarring. It is just wrong.
I’ve had a bit of a wedding theme going on recently. A friend attended his daughter’s wedding and sent me a photo of the happy couple – who definitely fit the bill! – and one of himself in top and tails, the proud Father of the Bride. Much to my delighted surprise the Love of my Life and I had an invitation to the wedding of two young friends pop into the letterbox. They are a gorgeous young couple and we had only seen them the previous weekend and been chatting with them about their impending nuptials not expecting at all to be invited. The beautiful Bride to Be has made her own wedding cake, and invitations and other wedding associated items. I think that is lovely, all those personal touches! I also admire her thriftiness in doing things herself and saving a few dollars. I think sometimes that people focus so much on a wedding day instead of investing in the marriage.
It has been a week of being reminded that people have different values. Have my values been altered by my experiences? Absolutely. Wouldn’t that be true of most of us though? I think I’ve always been a bigger picture kind of girl and I don’t think that has changed. What I know for certain though is that superficial things like appearance or profession don’t make a man (or woman) in my eyes. There was this article I read the other day that highlighted the sort of thing I’m talking about. These labels we give ourselves and each other to hang our identities on. For me it is not about whether you are tall or short, doctor or garbage man, Christian or Muslim. That is not how I’ll measure you. Show me the openess of your mind and your heart and the light of your soul and I’ll know then who you are. Clothes do not maketh the man because anyone can put them on. What do you look like naked? Underneath it all? Stripped bare?
In an age where eight year olds have eating disorders and the masses worship at the altar of celebrity are the values that we value really valuable?