Have you been fast asleep? And have you heard voices?
Good song that one, but that particular line makes me think too much of the standard ‘do you ever hear or see things that other people don’t?’ That would be a big no from me but do people who are hallucinating know they are hallucinating? Do they know that what they are seeing and/ or hearing can’t be seen/heard by others?
‘Things are never quite the way they seem’. Also a good song and so very true. It’s been a strange twenty four hours. Things haven’t quite fitted together but as Sherlock Holmes said ‘When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.’
I had a lovely surprise phone call from a friend. I’ve only ever spoken to him online, so last night was the first time he’d heard my voice. My friend was extremely complimentary about my voice telling me I sounded upper class and British. There was no silver spoon in my mouth at birth and any British-ness is probably the result of company I was keeping until recently, combined with drama school in my youth. In any case I am glad he enjoyed listening to me, as I enjoyed listening to him. It was unexpected and a lovely way to end the day. It was soothing to have someone interested in what I had to say and delighting in how I said it. Someone paying me attention and finding me attractive, enjoying my company.
It shows though, that so much is based on perception. I sounded different to the way he thought I would. Although he was thrilled with the difference he was surprised. It is said there are always three sides to a story – your side, their side and the truth. Basically what that means to me is that everything is subjective. We come to situations with our own values and desires, layered between experiences and intelligence and we colour them with the tools we have at our disposal. It is a fight NOT to project all of our own stuff onto a situation, we do it subconsciously and automatically. Sometimes with hindsight we can appreciate our bias but mostly we just believe we must be right, because this is how we perceive things. And sometimes we are not.
My late night caller spoke of seeing photo’s of me with He Who Shall Not Be Named and wondering what He had that he didn’t. Even with all the words in my blog there is no way to comprehensively explain what He had, and a photo – worth a thousand words or not – could not do it either.
And then it occurs to me, the most complete answer to that question I can give. What He had was me. In every way that is possible, He had me. And that’s the truth.