It’s cool as the breeze comes through the window. It’s quiet and peaceful. I can write this on my phone and not have to worry about running the charge down. I can charge my phone when I like. There is no stranger beside me. There will be no half hour hysterics outside the door just before 1am. There is no one to ask me ‘Do you feel safe?’ But if there was I’d say yes.
A facebook friend of a facebook friend of a virtual friend who became a real life friend advised me the other day to not underestimate the kindness of strangers and I don’t. Through all of my travels I have chosen to believe there are still good people out there. In the main I’ve been lucky enough to find them. My friends have rallied around me but, they protest quietly, it is nothing I have not done for them. One friend texts me from bed and i send him to sleep. This does not offend me though, I enjoy the fact our banter relaxes him. Another friend expresses regret that I do not live closer; he’d ask me out if I did. I laugh and remind him I’ve been known to cross the country for love before. Be careful what you wish for!
I watch the people around me this evening, who have welcomed me into their home. I can see the bond between them. Such warmth! I bask in it. And I let their dogs jump on me and nuzzle into me and allow myself to sit with that pleasure and not let it be tarnished by loss.
This is how you go on, how you move forward. One step and one day at a time.