I have lost the love of my life. I have lost my home and everything that has been so dear to me for so long. It hurts like you would not believe but that is the reality. It falls into the category of things I cannot change. If I could change it I would, but I can’t.
What I can change, what I need to change, is where I am because if I stay here I surely WILL lose my mind. Last night I was treated to a man a few doors down yelling for twenty minutes. “You fucking bitch! I’ll kill ya you c@$t!” Over and over again, variations on the same theme.
This morning my new roommate has used the toilet. In our shared room. With the door open. Which is how I know exactly what she has done and that she hasn’t flushed. If I was feeling generous I’d give her a point for washing her hands but SHE USED THE TOILET WITH THE DOOR OPEN AND DIDN’T FLUSH! And so the only place here where I felt almost able to relax, my room, is now compromised. Fuck.
So, it’s well and truly time to blow this pop stand. I don’t think it is going to be easy. I literally have nowhere to go, which makes an argument for discharge an uphill battle. But I cannot stay here. Bottom line.
I had a lengthy conversation with a lovely friend last night. There are no words really to express how much I appreciate the love and support that has been coming my way. Thank you for bearing with me. I hope you stick around to see what happens next!