Don’t fear the Reaper.

Tagging along with Eden’s meme this week; Funeral songs and associated matters.

I don’t fear death. It interests me, as does the rest of the human condition. How people behave around death; it brings out the best and the worst in them. For me, it is simply a fact of life. It is part of the deal.

I don’t know what is on the other side. I’m reserving my judgement on the existence of any deity. I’d like to believe in reincarnation. But death doesn’t scare me. One thing I am sure of is that the suffering of this life ends, and frankly, after this life death looks like a walk in the park.

“Tis not that Dying hurts us so – Emily Dickinson 

‘Tis not that Dying hurts us so —
‘Tis Living — hurts us more —
But Dying — is a different way —
A Kind behind the Door —

The Southern Custom — of the Bird —
That ere the Frosts are due —
Accepts a better Latitude —
We — are the Birds — that stay.

The Shrivers round Farmers’ doors —
For whose reluctant Crumb —
We stipulate — till pitying Snows
Persuade our Feathers Home.

Music is a big part of my life, so I hope there’s some at my funeral. Truth be told though, funerals are more for those left behind, so I’m not going to be too prescriptive on what I do or don’t want. This one would be cool though, and hopefully give my loved ones a bit of a chuckle.

 Choosing songs for my Daughter Number One’s funeral wasn’t hard. I mean, her death was hard, planning her funeral or celebration of her life as I prefer to call it, that was no picnic either, but the music – easy. She’d told me she’d dreamt about her funeral shortly before she died, and written a diary entry about the dream (dead set – excuse the pun). The song in  her dream was Dilemma by Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland. Second choice was ‘Iris’ by the Goo Goo Dolls. Last but by no means least, ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem.

“You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better “

‘Lose Yourself’ played as everyone filed out of the chapel. I really wanted to leave Daughter Number One’s friends with the message to live their lives. Seize the day. Grab hold of it and jump in. Make it count. That was the way my Daughter lived.

So, I’m not too fussed on what songs play at my funeral. Maybe not country and western though.


The Man I Am In Love With read aloud to me from a book twice last week. It is at times like that that I think it may be possible to die happy. Because death comes for all of us, but before that? You might as well live. (Points for anyone who gets the Dorothy Parker reference).

Travel safe, you guys.


Comments on: "Don’t fear the Reaper." (7)

  1. Wow. I love that you left your daughter’s friends with such a powerful message in a way she would have loved.

    I can’t imagine having to plan my child’s funeral, I think you are amazing.

    • Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad you cannot imagine, but amazing has nothing to do with it. You do what you have to do, and it was one of the few things I had left that I could do for her.

  2. What a tough time that must’ve been, and I love her choice of lose yourself. It’s such a powerful song to begin with.

  3. Kate. It has taken me a while to get around to everybodys blogs .. mainly because I picked such a huge topic!

    I read your post just then and reached out and grabbed the laptop screen, I was just taken by the Eminem song playing after your daughters service.

    Mate. I cannot pretend to understand the depth of pain you’ve seen in your life.

    Gas smells awful. May as well ive.


    Love, love to you xx

    • Thanks for taking the time Eden, much appreciated. I am enjoying the challenge of your Saturday specials, but yeah, HUGE topic 🙂 .

      I am always so glad when people say they cannot understand. I’d never want you to. What I understand, though, is that EVERYONE has their own story, no one gets a free ride. That’s life.

      Yeah, it was a cool song for the end. The whole thing was pretty cool, as much as a funeral can be. My daughter went to a selective performing arts high school and at a memorial service some classmates wrote and performed a song about her. Now, THAT was really cool. Impressive too. Amazing young people. Her friends spoke at her service too. Really amazing, so brave. Incredible young people.

      Love right back x

  4. Kate, I commented on this post last week, but it’s not appearing. I’ve been having commenting issues on other blogs all week. I have found a way of doing it through my FB identity now… so here I go again! Just wanted to know that I was blown away by your story. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. And Emily Dickinson – how awesome is she? Beautiful.

    • Emily D. – extremely awesome! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment – particularly twice! And I’m glad you cannot imagine ❤

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