Que Sera Sera

Well, that was a week. I’m still shaking off the coughy coldy thing that’s had me in its grip – it branched out into some nice sinus pain this week – lovely! I’ve tried to make the most of my days before the school holiday chaos descends, and I think I’ve been successful in doing so but I feel absolutely WHACKED tonight, and have a hot date with Mr Codeine and my bed very shortly. Anyway, anyway…..

Thursday started off in a dramatically pathetic fashion. Despite setting the alarm for some revolting time of the morning  – and I still don’t know why – it failed to go off. This was a problem as I had to get Son Number Two to school early for a school excursion. He wandered sleepily into my bedroom 5 minutes before we had to be at school and despite breaking all previous dressing records we arrived at school 8 minutes after the coach was scheduled to leave. And it had, in fact, left. Fuck. No Mummy points for me then. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. To compound my feelings of utter uselessness Son Number Two was very casual about the whole thing. I couldn’t decide if he was trying to spare my feelings, or if he is so used to having a pathetic excuse of a mother that it really was no surprise to him, or if he truly didn’t care that he’d missed the coach, and so the excursion.  Arrrrgghh!

So I decided I could keep feeling sorry for myself and wallow in pitiful, or I could take the opportunity to spend some time with Son Number Two, just the two of us. Son Number One had school and Daughter Number Two was at preschool so we headed to the beach in the next suburb. When we got off the bus we headed down onto the sand, and it promptly started to rain, so we decided to prioritize lunch. It was a good decision. We shared pizza and nachos and drank coke (which the kids aren’t allowed usually, but it was not a usual day). We talked and ate, and ate and talked. After lunch and despite the freezing cold rainy, windy weather Son Number Two felt some ice-cream was in order. We found him some and once again headed to the beach. The sun came out teasingly as we played and laughed and took some great photo’s. At one stage great fat drops of rain started to fall and we ran, laughing, towards the path, only for it to stop just as we reached it. It was freezing and damp and beautiful and magical. I loved it. More importantly HE loved it. And I love him.

I have a beautiful friend, truly beautiful inside and out, who has an equally beautiful daughter. My friend’s daughter was honoured with a Kids in Community Award this week. After struggling through some hard times she is now working with various youth bodies to raise awareness and improve the lot of our young people. She is 15. She is amazing. Things she has lived though others would not survive. Others still could use their experiences as an excuse for the rest of their lives and no one would blame them. This young lady has chosen to pick herself up and give back. It’s not the fun choice or the easy choice, but she’s doing it.

I’m not going to make some trite statement about making lemonade from lemons. I don’t think every cloud has a silver lining. What I do think is that whatever the state of the weather or your surplus of citrus you just have to get on with it. Where you’ll get will vary, but at least you won’t still be where you were. You put one foot in front of the other and you keep going. Like Dory says ‘Just keep swimming!’. I’m also a great believer in choices. There are things that are out of our control, but even then you can choose how you react. Every day I get up in the morning is a choice. It’s not always the easy choice or the fun choice, but it’s still a choice. Somehow knowing that makes it easier for me.

 

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