As an adult I’ve always really loved Christmas. I enjoy spending time with people who are dear to me and making them feel good. I enjoy giving presents and eating good food. I love making it a magical time for my children.
My enjoyment of Christmas has dimmed a bit since Daughter Number One died, but over the last 18 months I have been trying to put the effort into it that I have in years gone by. Although I have the children’s presents on lay-by and have been paying off a hamper scheme all year my preparations have been tinged with frustration. There are three reasons why. I will have to juggle Baby Daddy spending time with Daughter Number Two. I am torn between wanting Nana with us to celebrate Christmas and thinking she will probably be stressed by being away from her aged care facility in unfamiliar surroundings, with three active, noisy, excited children. Lastly, I will not have the Current Person of Interest with me, and since he is one of the people I care about that is kind of a bummer for me. I have been a bit sulky.
Today I realised something. The Current Person of Interest is coming to visit for my birthday. My birthday is at the beginning of December and traditionally the first weekend in December is when we decorate our Christmas tree. So, he will be here to help decorate the tree with us. I’m one of those fanatics who makes the festive season stretch out as long as possible and in many different ways. Daughter Number Two will be wearing Christmas themed outfits from early December right through to New Year. Each year I have an outfit theme for the obligatory photo with Santa for the children, and they get brand new outfits for the same.
When I realised that the Current Person of Interest will be with us to decorate the tree I realised he would be here to help kick off our Christmas celebrations. I can show him decorations that I have had for years, some that Daughter Number One made for me. In a real concrete way he will be part of my Christmas. And that will make it a very Merry Christmas for me!