This was going to be a cheery post full of smug happiness. Smug because I have managed to keep to my more exercise less food thing, and happy because there are only 5 sleeps to go until the Current Person of Interest arrives.
Unfortunately, and for people who know me fairly predictably, just as things seemed to be looking up it all crashed and burned. Son Number One had an ‘incident’ at school that ended with him assaulting a teacher. There are no excuses for this behaviour. However, for those of you with any Aspergers or Autism experience I am sure it will provide some clarity to note that the teacher grabbed Son Number One, who then went off his head.
That was where it ended. Well, it is really just the beginning but that was the final straw today. I’m not sure where it will end. I expect that as this is not the first ‘incident’ we are looking at expulsion. The thought of finding, arranging, and starting again at a new school exhausts me. How to manage Son Number One’s behaviours just causes me despair. I am trying so hard, but it is becoming more and more difficult to balance the needs of everyone depending on me, including my own although they are way down the priority list.
I just want to dive head first into lots of food that isn’t very good for me. Unfortunately because I started the day on a more positive note I didn’t buy any food that I can self medicate with. I mean, there’s food, but nothing like Mars Bars or cake or scones with jam and cream or frozen chocolate cheesecake bits or caramel covered popcorn- you get the idea. Part of me thinks this is a good thing. Part of me just doesn’t care at the moment.
I feel so defeated. It has all just knocked the wind out of me.